Many men say it’s about a certain kind of strength and mental toughness
To be masculine you need to be
Self-reliant
Able to sort problems out for yourself
Independent
Able to keep your feelings under control
Boys soon become aware of this pressure. They learn not to cry or to admit to fears and unhappiness. They mostly keep it inside and don’t think about it. They feel that anything else will be seen as a sign of weakness and femininity. By the time they become young men this is just how things are – the stress may be there inside them but they don’t talk about being sad or afraid or upset – mates would just laugh.
So how DO young men show their feelings when they feel stressed and down?
By doing things rather than saying things
Avoiding things
Being bored and having no interest in things
Being irritable
Being aggressive
Too many drugs
Too much alcohol
The Trap
This leaves men in a trap.
They feel stressed and down BUT they don’t like to admit they have problems and they don’t like to ask for help and advice. So the stress just gets worse.
So what is being a man?
It’s got to be more than just appearing tough and in-control.
It has to be something about making decisions for yourself instead of just doing things because it looks right or because you think it is expected of you.
It has to include something about being able to admit to your problems and then taking control of your life and getting things sorted.
If this means finding the right kind of advice and help to get your life moving then that has got to be right for you.