There has been a lot of media attention about the right to privacy and use of super-injunctions by celebrities like Ryan Giggs.  But what is it like to live with secrets? What does it do to you? Is it better to keep stuff to yourself or to get it out into the open?  Here are views from both sides of the argument.

Are there times when a problem shared is a problem squared not halved?

Face up to your problems on your own. If it goes wrong there is nobody to blame but yourself – but that is fine: your decision, your responsibility.  If it seems a struggle to come up with the right answer then maybe write a list of pros and cons for each possible solution, will they work? What are the knock-on effects? That can help break the problem down and find the answer. 

 Let’s face it, half the time when you tell people your problems they either don’t understand or give you useless advice, even friends and family don’t get it.  All you get is the embarrassment of having told them and now they know stuff about you and tell everyone your business. No thanks. You can go to a professional for help but why do they care? It’s nothing to them and what do they really know about your life?

 So why not solve your own problems? It boosts your confidence, you feel in control and you learn from your mistakes. You develop your own coping skills and build confidence to deal with all the things life throws at you in work, college and relationships. But this isn’t about never listening or looking for good ideas that would just be stubborn. You can find some good stuff on the internet – practical advice and ideas about stress and how to deal with debt and work issues. Use them to make yourself stronger – to help you make your own decisions. 

 It’s true what they say; ‘a problem shared is a problem halved.’ Anything that helps to solve problems can only be a good thing…

 Keeping problems to yourself and not telling anyone what’s going on can really eat you up. Stuff swirls round and round in your head with no end in sight, no solutions found, and you start to feel a bit crazy. Maybe you feel frustrated, angry, even lash out and hurt someone around you for no good reason. That’s what happens when you bottle up difficult emotions, they have a tendency to turn ugly.

 So getting things off your chest really lets you see everything more clearly.

 We’re not experts at everything, even when it comes to ourselves sometimes – so why pretend we are?  Life throws up challenges that we don’t have the resources to cope with on our own. Maybe your mates have had similar issues in the past and got through them, or maybe there are other people like your parents, teachers or someone else you trust that could be able to give you some advice.  

 Getting someone else’s perspective can be great because sometimes we make bad decisions. When we’re feeling stressed or worried we tend to make even poorer decisions on our own because we feel stuck and get a bit desperado for solutions. Calling your ex when you’re feeling lonely, ordering that last beer at ten to eleven when you know you’ve got work in the morning, having a spliff when you’re feeling edgy. Actually, anything to do with booze and drugs seems to involve poor decision-making.

 That’s when we need to talk to someone else, let them help us make decisions. They might not be giving you direct advice, but sometimes just talking about things with someone else can help us to come up with solutions for ourselves. The other person just has to listen.  Asking for advice isn’t giving up on your independence – it’s about making sure you have all the best information to then make your own decisions.

 So two ways of looking at how we can handle problems and secrets. Is there a right or wrong way? When is one better than the other? Perhaps being able to use both is the answer….what do you think?

As we come to the end of another year of the ‘X Factor’, what have we seen? Tears, tantrums, heroes, villains, the good, the bad, and the vulnerable. It’s operatic. The tension is high and the drama is ramped up to the max, and I feel this is the year the ‘X Factor’ has gone too far.

We’ve known for years that the show is a 21^st century Bedlam, especially in the early stages when a succession of no-hopers are paraded out for our amusement.

This year has seen the most seemingly vulnerable contestants, Cher Lloyd, Katie Waissel, Wagner, cast as ‘baddies’. They have been saved through twists and production staff manipulations to continue to provide entertainment for the 14 million plus viewers tuning in every week.

Take Katie for example. This is a girl who has been completely vilified in the press. Stories about her desperation to be famous at any cost, even stories about her grandmothers illicit ‘night time’ work, and finally, alleged death threats. Is gossip like this bullying on a national scale?

And Cher Lloyd, a 17 year old girl with a dream. Apparently so affected by the whole process she has had to have a counsellor on call 24 hours a day. From being booed when she was saved by the judges, to the phrase #hatecher trending on Twitter, is this OK in our society? Am I missing something…??

Wagner, the pantomime contestant this year. A man who claims incapacity benefit in his hometown of Dudley, and has been scoring cannabis backstage at the show, or so we’ve read in the press. He has been paraded out week on week for a series of increasingly bizarre performances. Let’s face it, he’s not a great singer, so why is he there? For our entertainment? Is laughing at a vulnerable, out of work guy who is just trying to make a buck acceptable??

None of these 3 made the final night of the show. They served their purpose, and now they’ve been used, their departure can pave the way for a more ‘deserving’ winner….or so the judges will tell us.

Who’s more deserving, someone who’s been told they’re great every week, and portrayed in a fair and kind way so the public fall in love with them? Or, the individual who’s been edited in a way to illustrate delusional self-belief and lack of humility, and has ended up being hated by the very public they’ve been entertaining?

In anticipation of the World Cup, Sort Out Stress has been examining the experiences of gay football fans and players in the UK. Football is enjoyed by people of all ages, nationalities and races.  But where are the gay footballers?   Probably keeping out of sight for fear of abuse. [..]

“Legal highs” is the term for a variety of substances that users can take in order to change how they feel while not breaking the law. Mephedrone has been in the spotlight recently, also known as Meow Meow, M-cat or MC
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